Diario de ddrudd, 11 dic. 23

Here’s the part I don’t always say. I got a lot of exercise in this weekend - Friday back, Saturday hill sprints, Sunday chest and shoulders, lots of walking around town with friends and my dog - but my nutrition and rest was not awesome. Whiskey, weed gummies, skipped meals. Slept surprisingly well all things considered but I could use a solid 8-9 hours some night soon. I feel a little tired today.


This is the life I sometimes gravitate toward - I like to escape. Work hard/play hard, in some ways it’s all an escape. I’m not good at living in the moment, being present in my mind and in my body, being calm and quiet. I’m fidgety and restless. I’m kind of a quiet person in social situations but I like a little chaos and mischief. Even with exercise I’m not sure everything I do is “healthy” or “good”, sometimes it feels like maybe not. My mind and body end up taking a little bit of a beating sometimes. I don’t always do well on recovery or nutrition.


I’ve gotten a little healthier in recent years… back when I trained jiu jitsu all the time 2018-2022 I was both in peak physical shape and also was harder on my mind and body than at any other time in life. I would get cross faded with friends while we were fighting each other, and we had a regular Friday night invite-only session specifically for that kind of behavior. In all honesty some of the most fun times of my life, but perhaps not the healthiest? Or was it? Injuries galore. Possibly dangerous scenarios. Incredible cardio and isometric strength. Hard to put it into one category or another. The one indisputably good thing I’ve done for myself is quitting smoke 1.5 years ago.


I’m not making any resolutions to change here, not saying any of this is all “good” or “bad”, no value judgments from me at all. I personally have always believed that escape is a natural human tendency and is necessary, and so is a sense of community and camaraderie. Just acknowledging that sometimes I do work against my own goals in some ways.

Ver Calendario de Dieta, 11 diciembre 2023:
1930 kcal Ejercicio: Apple Health - 24 horas. más...

35 Seguidores    Apoyo   

Comentarios 
We're all a work in progress. Nice job on quitting smoking 👍 still can't beleive I smoked for many years what a terrible habit  
11 dic. 23 por el miembro: ObeseToBeast123
What an honest look at yourself that you chose to share. Perhaps you've given some of us a good idea to try ourselves. Thank You!😺 
11 dic. 23 por el miembro: Laurie62707
Wooohoooo! I love finding fellow humans online!!!! We love humans here Ddrudd, with all of the idiosyncrasies and a sense of adventure. We all have our stories, thank you for sharing your! 👩🏿‍🤝‍👩🏽 
11 dic. 23 por el miembro: debrafrederick
Are you saying that you do things you wish you would not do? Not gearing up to judge, just genuinely curious about this.  
11 dic. 23 por el miembro: unity1234
@OTB yeah, for a long I told myself it’s healthier if it’s not cigarettes. I don’t think that’s true anymore though, inhaling combustibles just can’t be good for you. Congrats to you on quitting as well.  
11 dic. 23 por el miembro: ddrudd
@laurie and @debra - yes trying to be honest, i know myself, life is better when other people get to know you too 🙂 thank you for your kindness 
11 dic. 23 por el miembro: ddrudd
@unity1234 no not really, just that I sometimes have somewhat conflicting impulses, always have, it’s just who I am. Im not saying any particular ones are things I don’t want to be doing. I tend to try to change things up when I feel that way 
11 dic. 23 por el miembro: ddrudd
dd, this is intriguing. I like change, too! I use it. My career is 100% oriented toward almost constant change. But I am not sure how aware I was of how much I appreciated change... or that type of energy. In fact, maybe I was resisting that about me. I will consider this. Change is inherent in all things. The degree to which you prefer it is rather personal (I imagine). I love your straightforwardness. It is refreshing. 💙 
12 dic. 23 por el miembro: unity1234
Just from reading this, I wonder if some sort of regular ling term meditation practice might be beneficial for you? Especially since you say it is challenging to quiet your mind and live in the moment. If you were to decide to try it, it's good to know what it is and isn't. It is just watching the monkey mind thoughts flow by or observing our breath ow in and out. The benefit is in becoming practiced in observing. Personally, I'm not a fan of forcing or disciplining ourselves into doing that. I like to think in terms of willingness. Am I willing to do this thing that could be beneficial to me? As always, YMMV. 🙃 
12 dic. 23 por el miembro: AncientHippie
@ddrudd I love digging into my soul like that. That's why I love meditation. Things become so much clearer. Self-reflecting is something few people that I know rarely do. Most people spend their time judging other people rather than realizing their true self, and perhaps their own faults. If there is ever anything that we want to change about ourselves, that realization must come first. Kudos to you for knowing who you are, changing what you want about yourself, and accepting the rest. None of us are perfect, but I strive to be a better version of me every day.  
12 dic. 23 por el miembro: ZenusWarriorPrincess
@unity1234 interesting, what do you do as a career? And it’s hard to explain but it’s not change that I like so much, more that I seem to just have a lot of inner chaotic energy, lol. The one thing I’m not interested in doing is somehow making it go away or suppressing it, it’s part of who I am.  
12 dic. 23 por el miembro: ddrudd
@ancienthippie and @zenus - funny you both mention meditation, can you believe I absolutely hate it? It’s miserable for me and also I forget I’m supposed to be doing it and before I realize it I stopped and started doing something else. But cardio is like my meditation, I think it does for me what sitting and meditating does for others. It helps to have my energy directed somewhere, it’s easier for the mind to be calmer when I’m moving  
12 dic. 23 por el miembro: ddrudd
dd, I am an Information Designer and I work on a consultative basis. I think I know what you mean by inner, chaotic energy. I think everyone has some of that and we're all on a spectrum; so (maybe) it isn't binary. Your energy levels present in a certain way. Is that a more accurate statement? It is so relaxing to accept yourself the way you are as apposed to hate the way you are. It sounds ridiculously simple as a concept but I have a sense that many folks don't like themselves very much. They just are not aware of it. 
12 dic. 23 por el miembro: unity1234
@ddrudd There isn't a right or wrong way to meditate. Don't get caught up in the hype of you've HOT to do it this way, or that way. It is very possible that cardio is you're form of meditation. Personally, whole I love to watch the sunrise/set, the clouds float by (it seems I can slow my thoughts down to that pace), a hot bath is my favorite meditation spot.  
12 dic. 23 por el miembro: ZenusWarriorPrincess
@unity EXACTLY!!! Then, they redirect that self hate out onto others. 
12 dic. 23 por el miembro: ZenusWarriorPrincess
dd, have you heard of walking meditation? I know there are those mandala circles, but honestly who has access to those? I did my own thing by using the same walking route, looking at a set distance ahead, listening to the same tunes on my headphones, focusing for the first few minutes on two words (for me they were grace and forgiveness) then allowing my thoughts to be what they were. I will tell you that I worked out some crap that way. And when thoughts get toxic I go back to Grace and Forgiveness and start again into a better headspace. Doing that with the rhythm of my body moving steadily works like nothing else. I used to live where there were trails so I didn't deal with traffic. Just the occasional snake. 😉 Find your way to move and clear and focus and process. Your own recipe. You'll find it.  
12 dic. 23 por el miembro: SeeTheBee
@unity that’s exactly right, yes 🙌 can’t fight who you are, just gotta try to be the best you that you can  
12 dic. 23 por el miembro: ddrudd
@zenus and @seethebee - yeah movement is my meditation for sure. I read an article a long time ago, that I’ll never be able to find again, that talked about how repetitive bipedal movement - walking, jogging, cycling - is especially conducive to meditative states of mind. I find it to be true for rowing as well. Those times are when I get all my best thinking. Well that and being in the shower for some reason 😂 
12 dic. 23 por el miembro: ddrudd
something about being immersed in water that makes me happy, no matter if shower, bathtub, hottub, swimming pool...I can let go all of my worries, burdens, aches and pains. The only time I am not happy when immersed in water...is sweating. Maybe that will change! 
12 dic. 23 por el miembro: debrafrederick
Haha Debra maybe it will! I’ve gotten to the point where I love the feeling of doing some activity that gets my heart rate up. Not so much the sweat itself though lol 
12 dic. 23 por el miembro: ddrudd

     
 

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