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Woohoo --> down 2.6 lbs in water weight from 196.4 to 193.8! Yay! So, neuro-immune disorders aside, I hands down still hold the best record for Fat Secret water tank! It's like I'm a human aquifer, I'm tellin' ya! ;-) This drop really is a work of pride. Yesterday was the FIRST day since going to the hospital last Saturday and coming home, that I've been able to get in my typical 4 liters of water. In fact, that might be only only real gripe about staying at Holy Family, because those little "pitchers" just don't cut it. And, I KNEW I wasn't getting in my regimented amount of H2O, though the nurses were very thoughtful about keeping them filled with water and ice. It's just not the same as my 36 ounce water bottle, which has a cute little notch at the top where you one count how many full bottles have been taken down.
Let's see how much we can lose today!
I was thinkin' about the "keto" folk last night and their proverbial "whoosh" syndrome. I'd like to inform the keto folk you can thank you're neurology for that sensation, and blow a sweet kiss to your spinal chord for providing it, because guess what, "whooshing" doesn't happen when the sensation's gone. It's like a backwards incontinence. I have the urge, but I can't feel what passes so the urge is muted. In this, I can say it does feel like partial paralysis of my bladder and bowel movements. As a result, when the urge to pee or have a BM comes, I have to get myself to a toilet ASAP, because I have no idea how close my bladder or bowels are to the finish line (if ya know what I mean). And, when I go, it's like a blind push, definitely NOT a whoosh. I find myself like a 2 year old in potty training, turning around and looking into the bowel longingly saying, "did I go?!". LOL
Peeing is definitely less challenging in some regards, but I'm told I must follow the smallest urge, even if nothing happens because with TM or MS, retention of urine and waste becomes and issue and can lead to infection and UTI's.
That being stated, letting loose 2.6 lbs of water took many trips to the bathroom and since my gait is very stiff right now, they were some hard earned trips!
I do feel a LOT less "out of it" today and well rested, even though my fit bit says I got around 6 hours of sleep.
Perhaps, it's just being settled in and home. Mom and I made some changes to my room yesterday when I got back from work. I don't have a messy suite, but I went through and followed some of the instructions about making my space "handicap" friendly. There are some bad habits that need to be changed like leaving my shoes on the floor, or just letting little clutter pile up here and there. There needs to be clear safe and open paths of travel for these feet. It didn't take long. I'm a minimalist, but was definitely able to get rid of some stuff. Mom hung up a recently acquired antique mirror our neighbors sold us before they moved.
I have these HORRIBLE closet mirrors that give a whole new meaning to a day at the carnival. In fact, the first time I tried to take a "before" pic on this health and weight loss journey, I had to trash all the photos because they seriously came out distorted. This antique mirror is quite large and beautiful. It really opens up my suite (which is about the size of a studio apartment) and definitely provides a pleasant view. Plus, we placed it near the gym area so I can use it when I lift weights and focus on form.
Speaking of form, it does look like I've taken off another inch in my chest, but aside from that, my measurements are pretty much the same as they were at my last stated low. It's probably why my clothes seemed loose, because everything gets a bit baggy for a gal when she loses in her chest. I think I'm 3 inches down in that department. I know my last stated low is in there, we're just 2.8 lbs of water away from her...we'll get there.
I also started my 3 day workout cycle. It took longer for me to get it done. I almost feel like I'm starting all over with the modified floor push ups. I still get my 17 in, but losing 5 days really took a toll on the muscle I had built up in my pecs. I can't get through them without breaks, but at least I got through them. The other reps went fine and I think I'll be able to create some increases tomorrow. My big focus is the tightening and "banding" that happens in that right leg. The working out actually helps that muscle not to be so "spastic" or tight. When I use spastic in this context, I do not mean my leg jumps, what I mean is the muscle literally starts to contract to a point I can barely move my leg or my toes. It's apparently common with TM and MS and needs to be monitored because it's not good for the muscle to remain so tight like that. When I'm on the recumbent, I try to focus less on resistance and more on just keeping the legs moving and if I start to feel that right leg tighten, I let my left compensate and pick up the slack so the right is going through the motions, but not having to contract all that much. I don't know if this is okay to do, but I did notice after my workout yesterday, my right leg had 3 points of temporary improvement regarding sensation and the calf muscle was markedly relaxed. I do note when my legs are tired, the numbness and lack of sensation increases.
Everything I read on TM and MS in regards to exercise really advocates movement, but every person is affected differently. Some people are paralyzed from the waist down and wheelchair bound. Some people require braces. Some people like myself, lack sensation and as a result deal with a very stiff gait. Some people are weakened in their upper body. There are exercises a PT can help with in order to focus on developing appropriate balance and timely muscle contraction as well as capitalizing off those muscles and parts of the body that are working well, but I require assessment and that won't be until July 20, so in the meantime, I'm just going to keep up with what I normally do.
I have read a lot of case stories on TM. They've been good for me to go through, because they help me to keep my expectations in check. There hasn't been a case study I've read yet with full return of capacity or no relapse, but I can definitely see that perspective and psychology play a HUGE part in how this condition is dealt with. Someone on here mentioned my Buddhist philosophy playing a role in how well I handled things. Hands down, it's the ONLY way I'm handling this experience. In Buddhist philosophy this is merely a shift and change in the experience of reality. It's neither right or wrong, good or bad. We can't spend to much time on self pity because we don't believe in a "solid self". The self that might cry one moment is not the same as the self that takes pleasure in a beautiful song bird in the next. If I indulge in self pity, I'm attaching this form to an illusion that doesn't exist. What "self" am I pitying? I can grieve over a previous identity. The identity of a girl that once had sensation in her legs and I do and I have. But, if I had a nickel for every identity I've assumed since I was a little one, I'd be richer than Donald Trump! Ha! If I devote this life to grieving all of these former identities, then suffering is increased 3 fold and one of the most significant points of the buddhist path is a cessation in suffering, not an increase. And, that cessation in suffering often comes with the release of expectation in how we "think" we "should" experience any given moment, rather than allowing that moment to reveal to us what we are experiencing. This is all very metaphysical, but it's genuinely helpful because if one really breaks it down, we're constantly making adjustments and adaptations to how we experience our world all the time, it's just that conditions like MS and TM have a way of making us keenly aware of it. If and when I see it in this way, this girl remains free and there is no "what if", there's just what is...and as long as my pain is tolerable, negotiable, and I can find peace in a moment, then it is okay...
It is manageable :-)
Have a beautiful blessed day, everyone
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1428 kcal
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Grasa: 44,00g | Prot: 62,48g | Carbh: 96,16g.
Desayuno: Half and Half Cream, Tillamook Extra Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Cooked Mushrooms (Fat Added in Cooking), Ore-Ida Potatoes O'Brien, Mezzetta Super Colossal Spanish Queen Pimiento Stuffed Green Olives, Scrambled Egg (Whole, Cooked), Ketchup, Coffee with Cream and Sugar. Almuerzo: Blueberries, Almond Milk, Optimum Nutrition Gold Standard 100% Whey - Double Rich Chocolate. Cena: Dijon Mustard, Stop & Shop Corn on the Cob, Chef Bruce Aidells Chicken & Apple Smoked Chicken Sausage. Pasa Bocas / Otros: Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Red Table Wine. más...
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