Diario de ny_shelly, 05 sep. 17

Hi gang,
I survived my drive home from my Dad's without binge eating. Hurray! It was a real struggle. I stopped at a rest stop and just looked at all the crap in the store and kept moving. I stopped for gas and got some peanuts. Well, not supposed to eat peanuts but that was a compromise. Better than what I really wanted which was cake.

I kept thinking of something I saw on the TV show Hoarders. That show is pretty tough to watch but I have been watching it lately (whole other story). Anyway, many of the people have fears the same as people who binge eat. Whether you are barricading yourself with FAT or STUFF the reasons are often the same. The organizer said to the woman, "Are you brave enough to get rid of this stuff and feel the feelings? Are you brave enough?"

I said this to myself - am I brave enough to lose this weight? Am I brave enough to sit with the feelings? I did it this afternoon. It was hard but I was successful.

What frequently happens is I am successful for a moment and later on the last straw occurs and the binge happens anyway. I am watching for that. The binge is tricky and sneaky. It gets you when you forget to watch for it or when you relax.

It is a very tiring problem. But I am hoping that after awhile if I continue to develop new habits it won't be as hard in the future.

Hard to believe it is already Sept 5 because on Sept 1 I was very discouraged and was coming off of a bad eating week. But I did pretty well over the long weekend.

I hope everyone has a great day too.
Shelly