Diario de peeperjj, 03 sep. 21

Those of you who say your weight is increased because you didn’t poop… just how much do you poop?? I lose 1/2# at MOST lol. Sry but saw another random post about that and it always makes me wonder who can have 2# poops!

Dr released me for right lifting at the gym. I’ve put it off because honestly I’m terrified of fucking up and ending up having to start over. It’s been 5 years since I started this process and I’m ready to be done and ‘even’ once again!

Anywho, we went to the gym yesterday. Felt silly and weak only using the bar and 5# dumbbells 😝. Had some pulling but no pain. Biceps got a little weak on the third set like they do on the first set of higher weights. My elbows and right shoulder are going to take more work than my muscles however. Lots of tightness and pulling in those areas even with just 5# in each hand! Tightness this morning and only sore when I rotate and stretch my arms a certain way so more stretching is in order today.

Husband mentioned a lady at the gym doing deadlifts and there was appreciation in his voice. I’m a jealous person so of course I had to tamp that down. Seriously though… who wears super tight, super short (once I saw a bit of butt cheek hanging out) Nike pro spandex to the gym? They were like those volleyball shorts they have now that you can see everything God gave you! I’m her defense she had nice thighs like my oldest daughter so maybe she was wanting to show that off rather than something a bit higher-even though you could see all those uhhh lines. My daughter has them but my understanding is they go under your basketball shorts like underwear but won’t move around and help blood flow. Got the jealousy stamped out when he wasn’t watching her constantly. Caught her looking at us a few times when I was sitting up from the bench and she happened to be in my line of sight. Yeah jealousy is a bitch lol. My counselor thinks it’ll go away when I build more self confidence, have more reassurance and security in my marriage and when I’m finally ‘back to myself’ whenever the hell that will be. But once the little love handles are gone and my implants are finally even/equal then maybe I will wear something like that to the gym. Umm nope probably not. I’ll never have that level of confidence I think lol. Don’t want people to see certain areas of my body that don’t see the sun except in a tanning bed haha. You ladies probably get it 😉. On that note, what’s up with all the boob pictures lately? Lots of pics on here of people posing in undies and bras or close ups of bras with boob age hanging out. That’s fine if that’s your thing but if o ever post something like that without realizing exactly how much boob butt or other things are showing I’m counting on you ladies to message me and let me know so I can remove it!

Pants were a little looser than normal yesterday and I could fit in an Xs workout tank 😮. Hopefully I didn’t lose all muscle and no fat 🙊. The pants were long enough to tuck under my foot to keep them in place which I love. Kid says if I buy them tight enough they won’t ride up and I won’t need to tuck them under my foot 🤦‍♀️. Kids! Lol. Maybe I’ll look for some compression workout leggings with a side pocket for my phone but they’ll need to hold my thigh fat in and make my legs look slim haha. Oh and super good stitching so I don’t rip them and that fat come hanging out! Sadly that same child is now a size bigger so we can’t share pants anymore. My middle has gained 5-10# this summer and we can almost share now! She’s a tiny thing just like I was before kids and hasn’t really grown or gained weight in the last couple years so she was due. She’s like 1/4” shorter than me now and 15# lighter finally. It’s funny though because I used to think I was fat when I got married but she can fit the pants I wore a year after I got married! How did I ever think 110-115# was fat?!? Bad body image I suppose. Now to build up her muscle! She will never be thick like her older sister as older sister has Daddy’s muscle more than mine and the middle is build more like me. But the oldest got stuck with being short like me 😂. I hate seeing them grow up and know soon they’ll be on their own and not my babies anymore but it’s also awesome to see how they are developing physically and mentally. (Oldest went through a few years where she didn’t try at school at all and now she decided to try and is in classes like Spanish 2 and honors English! Even took on a hard math class when math is NOT her subject at all!). Way less attitudes from the kids which really helps me with my anxiety so I’m very thankful. Now if they’d just keep their rooms picked up it would be awesome lol. Roomba doesn’t like eating socks and candy wrappers!

Sry I’m a bit talkative today and it seems like I haven’t been on very long in ages! I hope everyone is doing well and meeting your goals for weight, muscle tone, diet and life in general! Miss everyone!
55,0 kg Disminuído hasta ahora: 17,9 kg.    Aún para ir: 0 kg.    Dieta seguida: Bien.

Ver Calendario de Dieta, 03 septiembre 2021:
2012 kcal Grasa: 84,71g | Prot: 79,84g | Carbh: 180,27g.   Almuerzo: Mazzio's Pizza Cheese Thin Crust Pizza. Cena: Mazzio's Pizza Cheese Thin Crust Pizza. Pasa Bocas / Otros: Hot Tamales Hot Tamales, Great Value Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Keebler Zesta Whole Wheat Crackers, Anheuser-Busch Bud Light Beer. más...
1619 kcal Ejercicio: Apple Health - 24 horas. más...
Ganando 1,9 kg a la Semana

20 Seguidores    Apoyo   

Comentarios 
I've absolutely had a 2lb spike if it's been a couple days 😅 which is why I weight just about every day, it's easier to tell the diff between a small fluctuation and a trend  
03 sep. 21 por el miembro: Joe Alec
I just notice that the weight doesn't go down if I am uh, irregular for a day or so. But after having my gallbladder removed that rarely happens. Reading your journal I was wondering you had just finished drinking 6 cups of coffee or something then reached the part where you said you were a "bit" talkative! But I understand, I sometimes have so much on my mind I jump from subject to subject. When I am at the gym (It's been a year and a half) I don't want anyone looking at me. I wear sweat pants. 
03 sep. 21 por el miembro: Fritzy 22
I don't weigh my own poops, but I have a friend who likes to text me random stuff and one was almost 2# which she was very proud of. Yes, she is nuts, but I like her anyways. Makes me laugh a lot. Often when it's completely inappropriate.  
03 sep. 21 por el miembro: Katsolo
I can totally relate to your issues using light weights .Since I hurt my back, I have been using only 5 lb weights on bar or no weights at all in my body pump class. I'm super competitive and most people who regularly take class know I'm injured so they understand the light weights but the insecure me feels inadequate when someone next to me is heavy lifting and I'm using puny weights. Dumb but true... I also understand your post and you mentioned jumping from one subject to another...I'm ADD so I totally get it. I skip subjects quickly cuz my mind is already on a new subject before I even finish sentence of previous subject...I hate it! Have a great weekend Fritzy! 
03 sep. 21 por el miembro: Diana 1234
Oops, meant Peeper,see what I mean?...lol 
03 sep. 21 por el miembro: Diana 1234
FWIW, the boobs/butt pics seems to be a weekend thing. Maybe psyching up for the weekend?  
03 sep. 21 por el miembro: Katsolo
Mermie, yes! To all of it! I probably don’t need CPI selling at this point but to get my medication it’s preferred and it helps me work on little issues that come up like marriage and kiddos. A second opinion sort of thing! She’s raised 5 kids so her parenting advice alone is so worth it! Especially since my parents and stepdad are all gone now. As for the gym lady we talked about that tonight and I feel more secure. My counselor keeps insisting cancer caused some self esteem issues and I’m starting to agree with her because my jealousy didn’t seem like an issue pre-cancer. Perhaps because these women he looks at have ‘real’ breasts while I have implants or perhaps because they could give him more children (he doesn’t want more kids) while I can’t. It’s a work in progress lol. But since our talk I feel much better and realize he looks at the men just as much! What they are lifting, are their shirts getting tighter, do they have more veins etc. It’s not an attraction thing but rather a comparison thing I guess. As long as he isn’t comparing me to her I’m good! 😀 And no I’d never wear pants like that to the gym! He’s actually bought me a pair of shorty shorts to wear and I have trouble wearing them at home and wouldn’t consider wearing them in public lol. Once my boobs are even and my belly is flat I might consider wearing a sports bra but even that’s doubtful!  
04 sep. 21 por el miembro: peeperjj
Kat, good point! I wondered if it was also a self image or self esteem issue. Posting it here if they get likes/support or comments then it builds self esteem. For some reason I’m just seeing a ton of those photos right now. Way more than food, family and animal/flower pics! Also, my SIL is in the medical field and our family dinner convo can be pretty odd lol. Some of the stories she tells are in appropriate but so funny! Of course she’s following hippa and all and we don’t have a clue who she’s talking about but the subject matter isn’t exactly appropriate for kiddos or meal time 😂.  
04 sep. 21 por el miembro: peeperjj
Diana, same! Inadequate is a good term for it! Plus frustrating! It’s the normal gym goers watching me that makes me anxious. I wish they’d just come over and say what’s on their mind or ask whatever they are thinking. Tonight hubby said when he started coming to the gym with our oldest that one of the regulars came and asked who he had with him. My first thought was this 30 something man was wanting to hit on our teenager but he said no it was more of a ‘who is she, does she know your married and where the hell is your wife’ sort of thing. That made me feel good that someone was ‘taking up for me’ or at least willing to ask questions and maybe let me know if something was ‘off’. I’ve asked about ADD but they tell me it’s depression and more likely anxiety. My mind just never shuts off until I’m at the point of exhaustion! I can be thinking of two things at once while also doing housework and that’s just normal for me. But I bounce around a LOT! Cleaning, errands or talking it doesn’t matter lol. I’m on a medication that makes it easier but doesn’t take it away. It takes a lot of effort to stay on track!  
04 sep. 21 por el miembro: peeperjj
Taiwyn, not me! I’d love to have a 2lb ‘drop’! See what I did there? 😂 I used to weigh daily but now it’s just whenever I think I might’ve had a gain or loss or my clothes are fitting differently.  
04 sep. 21 por el miembro: peeperjj
Fritzy Hubbys that way after his was removed too. I’ve always been irregular. Coffee is the only thing that helps unless I’m willing to spurge on ice cream (I’m lactose intolerant). I did have coffee this morning but only a cup. I’ve been so stressed and anxious lately that I haven’t let some of this out. I normally write in a journal and talk to a friend but said friend is upset with me and I her right now plus I haven’t been writing long journal posts in my notebook for the last few weeks. Anyone who knows me in person knows I rarely shut up anyway 😂. With three daughters who also like to talk it seems like some days I rarely speak and other times I try to make it up 😆. How are you doing after having your gall bladder removed?? Have you been able to add any fat back into your diet? Hubby has fatty meals a lot but it does bother him.  
04 sep. 21 por el miembro: peeperjj
I am doing fine without the gallbladder. Just have 4 scars that aren't fading much, yet. I can eat anything. I can't believe I put it off for over a year. But I kept reading about people who end up with chronic diarrhea and have to eat a really low fat diet. I prefer low fat when trying to lose weight instead of low carb, but I do have a pretty high fat diet considering the avocados and nuts I like to eat. I have several jars of apple sauce in the pantry - all my research on what I'd need to eat after the surgery just wasn't right in my case. Sometimes high fat meals (on vacation I had a big cheeseburger with tater tots) just kind of move through me quicker than before. 
04 sep. 21 por el miembro: Fritzy 22
I’m thinking hubbys scars took a few years to fade and some are still purple but he gets keloids. My hysterectomy scars took 2-3 years to fade completely. Hubby can eat whatever he wants but he’s it does go through him quickly. Especially restaurant food!  
04 sep. 21 por el miembro: peeperjj
I'm a jealous person, too and I have never had cancer- so nothing to blame. LOL. I don't think I would dress sluttily but then I have never had the body to be able to so I can't say for sure. I am glad you are able to get back to the gym. You do so well keeping your weight in check and maintaining. I am glad you are back at it slowly but surely. 💕 
04 sep. 21 por el miembro: davidsprincess
Yes mermee! I’m the same exact way!  
04 sep. 21 por el miembro: peeperjj
Thanks princess! I was jealous before but not bad. Just little twinges lol. If I ever get the ‘perfect’ body then I might dress slutty for the gym but it’s highly doubtful 😝. I am sore today! Just shows how much I’ve lost but I’ll get it back! I just have to learn some patience 😳.  
04 sep. 21 por el miembro: peeperjj
And thanks princess!  
04 sep. 21 por el miembro: peeperjj

     
 

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